i realize my place in time and space, and i accept the possibilities, the is, and the what, for all it was, is and could be.

and yet i find a non-resolution with this place.

i am listening to the moldy peaches. this is the most honest blog i have ever posted, i am drunk, i am with (and at the same time miss) nene. 

i am julia sanders, 

and today i....

avoided work diversion with excuses. created two works of art. smoked. finished two books. disregarded someone i love. and am now spending time with the person i  most care about.

xoxo

j

caught in the in between.

i am.... in limbo,

floating in a mist of grey.

it feels that

only the echos of my laughter 

produce any sort of authenticity 

anymore.

bang,

bang. 

that aweful sound.